Confidence – people think that you’re either born with it, or you’re not. Do you feel that you were missed when this particular blessing was being dealt out?
If so, it’s reassuring to know that you can acquire self-confidence at any stage in your life. The key is to treat confidence as a skill. You can learn how to feel and come across with confidence as you grow and mature, and everyone can do it.
There are many confidence boosting techniques which can be learned, and in this blog I’ve chosen just 3. They are easy to include in your daily routine, and they can make a huge difference in how you think about yourself.
In other words, enlist the power of your imagination and build pictures in your mind of what a confident you would look like. There’s been lots of research into this technique, and many highly successful sportsmen and sportswomen are encouraged by their coaches to make this a part of their training regime.
They picture themselves scoring the goal, hitting the winning serve, or crossing the finishing line ahead of the competition. So, create an image, or a movie, in your mind of what a confident you would look and then imagine how you would feel as that strong, confident person.
The brain love pictures and images are very powerful, and become more charged, if you can go into super-detail about it. If you visualise in colour, make the colours brighter and more vibrant. If you see black and white, make the pictures bigger.
Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find that you’re able to add in all sorts of detail. Some people like to repeat positive affirmations about themselves at the same time. Choose a regular time of the day to do it, making it part of your routine, so typically you might go for first thing in the morning or last thing at night.
Remember – it’s really important to visualise what you do want, (and not what you don’t want).
If you’d like some help with this, download my FREE AUDIO from the home page, or from the section directly below this post.
2) The Power of Body Language
Confident people usually have an upright and an open posture. They tend to ‘own’ the space they’re in, whereas those with little confidence often ‘close down’ by crossing their arms or legs, sitting in a hunched position or being reluctant to make eye contact. But the mind and body are linked together in what is known as a Cybernetic Loop.
This means that the thoughts you think affect the way your body feels, and the way you use your body affects the thoughts you think!
Research into the effects of body posture on confidence, conducted at Harvard Business School, has shown that simply holding your body in expansive, “high-power” poses (for example, leaning back with hands behind the head and feet up on a desk, standing with legs and arms stretched wide open, or standing with legs apart and your arms raised high above your head like a runner who’s just crossed the finishing line) for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone (the hormone linked to power and dominance) while lowering the level of cortisol, a stress hormone.
So stand tall and keep your chin up and very importantly, remember to smile!
The human brain prefers happy faces, and we can spot a smile at 300 feet – about the length of a football field. Smiling not only stimulates your own sense of well-being, it also tells those around you that you are approachable and trustworthy.
3) S-T-R-E-T-C-H yourself
People often make the mistake of aiming for the moon, and then become discouraged if they don’t quite make it. So here’s another way to use goal setting to improve your confidence. Set a goal which is (easily) achievable, one that you know you can do, and then do it. You’ll feel good when it’s done, but don’t stop there.
Next, set another slightly more difficult goal and achieve that, then another, and another. By doing this over time you’re building on your previous successes and, like a muscle, this habit will become stronger the more that you practice it, and so will you. As you become ‘an achiever” you’ll start to stoke the fire of confidence inside you, and set bigger and more challenging goals.
It’s only by challenging ourselves to go further, do more and try something different, that we grow and learn and become stronger. And remember, you are always in control of how far and how fast you want to go!
A Final Word
Being confident is an ongoing process. It isn’t a goal, or a destination that you get to and then stop. If you put off taking action until you have confidence, chances are high that you’ll never do it. So, do what you can now, as well as you can now, and you’ll quickly find those daily challenges will get easier, and you will improve your confidence.
Change your thinking – Change your life.
I am dedicated to helping you identify your strengths, boost your self-esteem and raise your confidence to new heights. My Confidence Coaching Program is suitable for both business and social situations. So for more information about how you can improve your confidence, contact me using the details below to set up your Free Coaching Session